I Am Whatever I Say I Am
I’ve been on an Eminem kick lately. Love him or hate him, you can’t deny that he always says exactly what he’s thinking and even if you don’t agree you have to respect his gusto. The song I’ve been replaying in my head most is “The Way I Am“.
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
He’s rapping to the media, but the song got me thinking about how I talk to myself. Am I fostering an environment for success within myself? Nope. I’m outwardly bubbly and positive…but on the inside I’m always doubting myself.
“Can I REALLY do that? Can I really reach my goal weight?? I mean, doesn’t everyone just think I’m always going to be fat? What if I get there (wherever I’m going) and I’m the biggest person in the room or I don’t fit in? I can’t go….I should just cancel”.
Sometimes I am consumed by what other people MIGHT think about me. I was lamenting about this to Rachel and she confided in me that a mutual friend was surprised to hear I consider myself a “fat chick” – because I always look so pretty and put together. That’s sweet, and surprising…but it’s hard to convince yourself to take it as the gospel.
So, this whole “I am whatever I say I am” has got me thinking….can I trick myself into overcoming my self-doubt?
If I wake up every day and say “Today you’re going to be stronger than yesterday” will it work? Or “You look pretty!” (even when I don’t think I do). I’m going to give it a shot and see if I can convince myself that I am whatever I say I am.
This weekend I was fortunate enough to buy a necklace made by my good friend Ela Rogers. I was drawn to the piece immediately because it had 2 chunks of pyrite on either side of a funky coin. (Side-note: as a child, I was a total nerd. I collected rocks and gems. My piece of pyrite was a favorite! Yes, I still have the collection. No, I’m not embarrassed…too much! )
When I got home and read the birth certificate for the necklace it said it would help ward off negativity! Um, perfect?! Sometimes I think you’re drawn to the things you need in life, subconsciously. I needed a reminder to stop being so hard on myself, and find the silver lining in each situation. I wore the necklace today and decided to snap a picture (thanks to Charlotte for being my photog!). Now of course, I wasn’t happy with my face in the photo (I look puffy!) but I’m going to embrace my new mantra and post it!