On “Giving Up”
I wish I could say this was a sunshine and sparkles post….it’s not. Who knows, it’s midnight on Thursday – I might feel differently in the light of day and scrap this. But, for right now I need to get this out.
Editor’s Note: It’s Friday at 2pm and I’m still in this funk. I think posting it keeps me real so here we go.
I’m frustrated. Beyond belief. I’m trying SO HARD to be perfect….and I’m failing miserably.
1800 calories a day? Check. Ask my family, I LIVE on MFP tracking every bite. If it doesn’t fit into my day, I don’t eat it. No matter how much I want it.
Cardio? Yes, check, check
5-6 barre classes a week? Check – literally as many different classes I can – constantly spicing it up.
I’m just not sure how much more I can do….and not see results. I’m so frustrated it’s not funny. I look in the mirror and I look the same. People see me and remark that I look “Great ~ but not as small as the expected” (true story) or “The same just more compact”.
I’m at my breaking point. I don’t know what else I need to do to see a change….
I gave up fried foods, I rarely drink – when I do it’s ONE drink not several – I don’t have dessert every night – I don’t go out to lunch 4 days a week – I haven’t eaten anything processed in a while – a LONG while. I’m just at a loss…..
I want to say “eff this”, crawl into a hole and just take a break from everything. I thought WW was broken….but now I’m starting to think I’m broken. I see all the success around me and I’m not part of it. I just don’t know what I need anymore, or where to go from here.
For now I will “keep calm and carry on“….”just keep swimming” ~ whatever cute anecdote means I won’t throw in the towel despite really, really wanting to.