Negativity, next steps and “now”….
First and foremost thank you all so much for the comments, emails and love after my mini-meltdown last week. It really means a lot to me to have so many wonderful people in my life (and in my corner) who support me and want to see me succeed! You guys are the best!
Second, I feel compelled to say this because I think my frustration with my body and my weight was taken out of context by some. I love barre n9ne – but I am not sponsored by them nor am I affiliated with them in any role other than as a paying client. I buy classes or challenge packs just like everyone else who attends. When I say I’m upset that I’m coming 5 times a week and not seeing a difference I am NOT saying “barre doesn’t work”. It is a great form of exercise with great people, otherwise I wouldn’t patronize it. That said, I cannot give it or anything sole credit for my failure or success. At the end of the day I am responsible for my body. My food intake, my steps, my exercise are all dependent on me and my level of effort at that given moment. I’ve hit a plateau and barre isn’t “to blame”. I hope that’s clear. I will still be enjoying barre workouts at barre n9ne as a tool during this journey, I will just be supplementing it with some tweaks (see below).
Moving on I have accepted where I am (which I think is one of the hardest parts of this whole journey – accepting your state of mind/body at a moment in time…. especially when it’s not where you wanted to be or thought you’d be). Being jealous of people around me isn’t going to get me where I need to be. Neither is dwelling. Lying to myself only placate my mind, it doesn’t help my body or my spirit.
As Baz Lurhmann once said:
Don’t waste your time on jealousy;
Sometimes you’re ahead,
Sometimes You’re behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
In the end I am only accountable to myself and only I have to live with myself and my decisions. If I did give up I would disappoint a bunch of you – but I would devastate me. I didn’t come this far only to turn back now. I’m gotten over the hardest part! I lost my first 100 pounds, I’ve changed my lifestyle – now I just need to tweak in order to keep moving in the right direction. Fall down 7 times, get up eight.
So what is my new plan?
4 times a week: barre classes (3 classes of either TFFR, method, barre fusion or cardio and 1 class of legs/arms/mat fusion/lean and tone). I really want to pump up the barre. I think that will be where I see the most “bang for my buck” if you will.
2 days a week of circuit training + cardio at the gym. Once upon a time I had a personal trainer who advocated a 20 mins cardio, 20 min circuit, 20 min cardio set. I need to add that back in again.
2 days a week of pure cardio (trying ZUMBA! today with Stefanie! ~ also lined up to try CrossFit and spinning. I’ll give anything that gets my heart rate up a go!)
I’m ready to kick it up. I know the next 30 days are going to be killer (especially with the aforementioned travel thrown in) but ya know what? That’s life! Life is never going to be this perfect linear progression. There will be hiccups and setbacks and changes, it’s not always going to work out as I plan.
Speaking of perfect, I wrote my last post and never even realized I used the word “perfect“. There is no such thing. My mom used to always joke “There was only one perfect person and they crucified him”. Region aside, NO ONE is perfect. I can’t expect that of myself. Not in work, not in fitness not in life. Life is not perfect.
I’m committed to kicking ass the next 30 days ~ so committed that I made myself a calendar inside Gmail with the aforementioned schedule.
In addition I will be eating my number + sticking to 10,000 steps a day. I sleep better and FEEL better when I get those steps in. Why stop a good thing!? I’m also excited because for the next 30 days I have NO PAGER for work. Wooo! I will mot likely resume my responsibility in September – but this gives me a full 30 days to dedicate to myself after hours. I’m excited to see how it goes.
That’s where I am. Thank you all again for being real with me – for sharing your missteps and setbacks, it’s nice to know I’m not alone!
A good reminder: You have to have a setback in order to have a comeback….otherwise you settle in your setback.