I’ve been really introspective over the last few weeks. Maybe it’s starting a new year, taking inventory of what happened over the last 12 months etc. Or maybe it’s knowing my 32nd birthday is lurking around the corner next week. Isn’t there something so monumental about birthdays? Suddenly you need to categorize what 31 was…How did it feel? What victories did I have? What losses? Am I better off right now? Well I’m pleased to say I am definitely going to enter 32 as a better version of myself. I’m stronger, I’m more sure of who I am and I really care a lot less if others approve of who I am. I spent so much of my twenties wound-up and crazy. I hated not being liked, I compared myself to everyone else – constantly. I worried, I worried some more, I lost sleep and frankly I spent far too much of my precious time on shit that doesn’t matter now. You know the old adage “Will this matter in 5 years?” 99% of the time the answer is “This won’t matter in a year”. Sometimes it won’t matter in a week!
I tried an experiment back in June where I kept a little journal at my bedside and jotted down notes about things upsetting me, worrying me or just generally weighing on my mind. Turns out 93% of the things causing the bags under my eyes didn’t matter enough to even register a few months later! Yes, I actually stopped and did some math to figure out that percentage – that’s the nerd in me! LOL.
Isn’t that the truth? Stress is HEAVY! It pulls at you, drags you down and makes you feel like there is no use in fighting back. I encourage you to let go – let go of the things you think you need to worry about. Go watch “Up in the Air” – the scene where George Clooney does his “what’s in your backpack?” pitch is my favorite. I don’t want you to let go of the people in your life (because those relationships are super important!) but I do want to think about the “stuff” you carry. I truly feel like a happier, more free version of myself since I stopped focusing on “stuff” and started letting go.
I’d like to think I’ve finally cracked the code on my own personal happiness – it looks something like this:
Smile more and stress less (what’s in YOUR backpack?)
Don’t say yes unless you really want to (because sometimes those commitments made in the heat of the moment lead to ridiculous stress and pressure!)
Don’t say no to a new opportunity just because it’s scary (scary means there is a chance to grow – take it!)
When it doubt – sweat it out (something about sweating your frustrations out just feels good)
No one needs to give you permission to be happy. Period.
I used to look outside myself for happiness. I needed approval from my peers, from my colleagues, from *strangers* to feel like I was complete. I don’t need that any longer. Something has changed inside of me and I realize I am fabulous – and I don’t need that acceptance from the anyone….it came from within!
What are you waiting for? Seriously. What is it? Stop waiting and just do it! Plan that trip, try something new, go out on a limb, trust yourself and stop putting limits on who you are and what you can do.
I just watching the makeover episode of “Biggest Loser” (one of my favorites – I love Tim Gunn!). I get so excited to see the transformations but man I get so annoyed when I hear “I couldn’t love myself when I was fat. I look in the mirror and now I finally love myself”. No one is going to give you permission to love yourself as is – that’s up to you. Fat, skinny, in-between – you’re more than just a size. You should love yourself regardless of your size!
My new manifesto will be to stay classy and fabulous – I can be confident in who I am without losing sight of the things that make me strong. I’ve come a long way and I’m sure the next 32 years will be 10 times happier (and less stressful) than the previous 32!