Well, so far this blog has been well-received! I got some wonderful comments, emails and FB posts – all of which mean a lot to me. Thanks guys!
I also got a few “wow…I had NO idea you were that big. You’re twice/three times my size”. Yup, it’s true folks…I am probably double, maybe triple (if you’re really little) your size. But ya know what? It’s a moot point. I could sit here and dwell on why I am where I am….or why I’ve made the decisions I’ve made …. but let’s face it – that isn’t going to change my situation. I’ve made mistakes (we all have), and I’m owning up to them. I’m fat – and from here on out I am working to be less fat. Honestly, that’s all that matters in the end.
So, have I dieted before? Did I attempt to get my weight under control before I reached 424 pounds? HA! Of course I did, I am a diet drop out! Let’s do a quick run down of what I’ve tried – just for kicks.
Weight Watchers- 7 times. Yup. SEVEN! I had great success the first time….then I learned how to cheat. Ready? Eat whatever “cheats” you want, don’t write it down and then feign innocence during your weigh in! “OMG…I gained? How did that happen?!” ::bats eye lashes::. I wasn’t fooling anyone – not even myself. So, I quickly succumbed to the program and gave up. That’s not to say I didn’t try it again – 6 more times. But, it never quite worked for me. I know several people who have had great success with WW – and I applaud them. Sadly, the program just didn’t give me the structure I need.
I also tried South Beach, Atkins, a modified (HARDCORE scary) version called “Kimkins” briefly…I’ve counted calories, points, fats, carbs….and I’ve counted my way back up the scale time and time again. Oh, I even saw a personal trainer for a while. Nothing has worked for me to lose the weight, and keep it off. Now, that’s not to diss any of these methods – again, my blog – my experiences. If I was in a different frame of mind etc. some of these could have worked for me long term. Looking back I think I felt like if something didn’t work immediately, I should quit.
I’ve also read every diet book out there. I am the most well-educated fat person you’ll ever meet. I know exactly why what I’m eating is bad for me….but I eat it anyways. Sounds silly? I agree. It does. So, having read every diet book out there, and researched every diet in existence- I had to finally stop and say to myself “Is dieting going to work for me?”…the answer is a resounding NO. Dieting won’t work. Ya know why? A “diet” is a short term modification of behavior and restrictions of food – not a life. No one can live on a diet. Period. The idea that I can avoid one food group, or things I love for a “limited time” sounds silly. Once I get them back into my regimen, I’ll go back to my old habits. Thinking that I can NEVER have a piece of cake or a martini just makes me want those forbidden foods even more.
So, my new approach is simply to eat what my body needs. I know what I need to sustain a healthy body: (veggies, fruits, good carbs, PROTEIN and healthy fats)….I know what is delish but should be eaten in moderation if not avoided (sugary, yummy treats, alcohol, anything processed or fake). I also know I need at least 8 glasses of water every day – but should aim for more. I know that I feel better and have more energy when my body gets the right fuel. After all, food = fuel. Giving my body healthy, fresh ingredients will lead to a much more productive self than processed, sugary junk that causes me to crash 2 hours after consumption.
I also know I need exercise – and right now I am willing to take that in any form (cardio, weights, strength training, yoga, dance, hula hooping etc). Once I get myself to the point where I am *moving consistently* 30-45 mins every day, then I’ll start building some routines and honing my exercise to meet my needs. First focus on food, then movement – once those are in sync, I’ll be golden!
Another thing I know will help me succeed in this journey is getting enough SLEEP! I never valued sleep in HS or college – and could function on only 3-4 hrs per night. Those days have long since past….I need at least 6-7 hrs each night in order to feel my best. At my heaviest, I would be SO TIRED after work – I would literally come home from my desk job and need a nap. Thankfully, those days are behind me….but I do love catching naps on the weekend on occasion! Sleep = the time when your body rebuilds those muscles you worked so hard and processes all that yummy, nutritious food you ate during the day. Sleep is your friend. 😉
I’ve decided I won’t benefit (and neither will my dear readers, provided you’re all still here with me, haha) from posting what I eat each day – or what I do for exercise. That’s boring and obsessive. I will be tracking those things using spark people but putting them in this blog seems like overkill. I want to learn and grow without that kind of added pressure. I’m instead going to focus on the plan at hand (see above), challenges along the way and anything I feel is blog worthy. I’m also going to be including photos of my progress courtesy of my fabulously talented friend Jim Baab Jr. (woo!) – and maybe even a poll or two (I love polls so much I should work for the Census). Oh, and I’m going to be weighing in Friday mornings – and posting my results. Even on the bad weeks.