Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

Myths and Truths of Fatness

on July 20, 2010

So, having been fat since I was about 10 or so, I have grown into adulthood knowing that the stakes are different in America when you’re overweight. It’s not “fair”, it’s not “right”…but it’s true. Thankfully, I have been unscathed to anything really horrible – but I have had my share of mortification (more on that in a later post).

So, I’d like to dispel some myths about being fat from the “average” persons perspective. This is something I’ve been mulling over for a while, and I feel it needs to be said.

Myths about being fat:

We all eat McDonald’s. 24/7…
…gross. Nope. Try again. I’m not fat because of fast food…I’m fat because of cheesecake, portions that were 3X a normal size, chicken parmigiano and martinis. Lots of martinis. I can’t even tell you the last time I ate fast food! Sure, some people may fall victim to the drive-thru, but don’t assume just because someone is fat they must LOVE fast food.

We’re all slobs who can’t dress.
Hahahaha NO. I pride myself on looking cute – even if I’m just going to the store. I might not be able to shop at 95% of the popular stores – but I manage to find outfits that fit, are stylish and work for the season/event. I’ll admit, it’s harder to find cute wears – but this chick will NEVER rock a mumu. Never! 🙂

We gorge ourselves all day long and love buffets.
I hate buffets…too much food, being touched by too many people. Yuck! I’ve gone days where I’m not all that hungry – and of course I have had days when I am RAVENOUS. I’m not in this position because I ate huge quantities of cheap food every day, but rather because I didn’t control WHAT I ate and why. Oh, and I wasn’t really friends with physical activity. In fact, we were estranged. We’re in counselling now trying to work on our issues.

We have NO idea we’re actually fat.

This always makes me laugh. Society looks at fat people as if we’re in the dark. Like being fat is a secret that we haven’t yet figured out. We know. Trust me. My house (like yours) does have mirrors.  🙂

We instantly connect with other fat people.
Again, not true. My NYC BFF is small, in shape and wears a size 8 (if I had to guess). My Boston BFF is about a size 16/18 so she is “plus-sized” but she is ATHLETIC – she’s biking the Pan Mass Challenge in a few weeks. I doubt you, my dear readers are gearing up to ride 110 miles in the dead summer heat of August for a good cause, are you!? Sure, I have friends who are overweight, but I wasn’t drawn to them because of that. In fact, I tend to avoid other fat women…they’re usually clingy and depressing. Who needs that?! (Sidenote: If you’re reading this, I’m not lumping you in with “those women”…you know the ones I mean, no one likes them).

It’s not our fault we’re fat.
FALSE! Who’s fault is it?! It’s not genetics, it’s not our environment…we made bad choices, we’re paying the price. Stop placing the blame and use that energy to fix the problem. Fin.

Now, some “truths” that sadly come with being fat….like it or not.

Fat = invisible.
Every day I walk into work holding at least 4 things (purse, lunch, coffee…who knows what). I can’t tell you how many times someone sees me struggling trying to balance my things and open the door with my badge; and ignores me. However! The SECOND I am walking with a skinny woman – poof, instant door holding!! It’s sad. There are exceptions; I do work with some guys who are genuine sweethearts, but they’re few and far between. Recently, someone parked thisclose to my car at work, and I couldn’t get out. When I rolled down my window and yelled to him he said (and I quote) “Sorry fattie! Lose weight and you’ll be able to fit”. Ass.

“Fat” precedes every name someone calls us.
Fat chick, fat bitch, fat whatever….you name it, you can add fat to it. It’s ridiculous. It’s also incredibly uninspired. Try harder next time you want to insult me. God knows the nicknames I come up for every ass I deal with is more creative than that!

We’re incredibly conscious of eating in public

I hate eating in front of people – except friends. I always think if I have cake during someone’s birthday…or eat a burger during a company BBQ that I’m being judged. Honestly, I’m not sure if this is a truth – or just something that I’ve always assumed. Maybe my thin friends can enlighten me. I always get so mad when I see images on TV of fat people GORGING themselves at a restaurant. We’re not all like that!

When you’re fat, you better be able to do tricks…
Ha. So, the average fat person isn’t just fat. No, no. They have to be fat AND something. Fat and funny (my brother). Fat and sarcastic (me). Fat and a complete sweetheart (me only to people who don’t really know me yet, haha). You are forced to overcompensate for your weight by bringing something more to the table than the average person.

OK, off my soapbox for the day and onto the positive.

Hearing that my blog has helped friends become more accountable with their eating – or even inspire them to lose weight with me truly means the world to me! It helps me think out what I eat and make better decisions every day!

Thanks guys! ❤

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13 responses to “Myths and Truths of Fatness

  1. Heatherqamar says:

    Oh Samantha – I SO hear you on this.

    I’ve been dealing with weight for my whole life. My mother always made it clear to me that because I was heavy I should always dress up more than other people and try to achieve harder than others to “make-up” for my fatness. As an adult women, particularly when I was stay-at-home mom, I saw how the assumptions about fat women(heavy men are apparently still taken seriously) really caused me to be judged. I’m either: funny, overeating with lots of junk food, depressed, ignorant, lazy, slobby, uneducated, disturbed in some way, gay, over-sexed, undersexed etc. The list goes on – much of it contradictory. Jay Leno could never make it through a single monologue without at least one fat joke – particularly about women. Job interviews are terrible – there are so many preconceptions before you even speak.

    Am I perfect? Do I try constantly to lose weight? No. I used to. I refuse to obsess anymore – it only frustrates me and makes me feel like a failure. Do I try to be aware of what I’m eating? Sure. I also other priorities in life – family, work(or the search for), dance, photography, volunteering. In our society, however, that isn’t what people see – and few will take the time to get to know me any further because of their prejudice. I have a number of medical conditions that effect my weight and my fight to lose or control it – and I should be better behaved, but the 1000 calorie a day 90 minutes a day of cardio still didn’t slim me down, but am I better off spending all my time thinking about what is wrong with me and denying myself real food? All things in moderation.

    Am I unaware of how I look? No. I hate it most of the time. I have incredible admiration for people who are disciplined enough and in control of their food and time enough to make the weight loss happen. I know I’ll never be skinny – my doctor has made that clear – but it would be nice to get the weight down for my health’s sake. You are a strong, intelligent woman and I think you are very courageous to share so honestly this very personal and challenging process. I applaud your blog and your efforts – but you are beautiful already!

  2. Cecilia says:

    Hey Chicky!

    Great list! I feel you on all those things. People are such asses.

    I’m loving this bloggie!!

  3. CrazyKev23 says:

    This Blog is so Awesome and honest!!! I love that you are doing this. Such a real approach to weight loss. Just to add something. I’ll admit I have judged fat people when seeing them eat before at places like Mcdonald’s and Friendly’s, and they order the most obnoxiously fattening thing on the menu. I can’t help but just shake my head and wondering as you stated, “do they realize what they are eating”

  4. Thanks ladiessss!!! 🙂

    Kev – I totally feel you -and even being fat, *I* have made fun of those people ordering 3 cheeseburgers,fries, onion rings….and a diet coke. LOL!

  5. Amy says:

    I love you and your stylish self 🙂 Having personal style it all about having the confidence to pull it off and even though I don’t really know you, I can just tell you have it!

  6. Kelly says:

    I can’t believe some asshole from work said that to you while blocking your car in, what a Dbag! The sad part is people like that need to put others down just to make themselves feel important. He’s obviously trying to make up for something he’s lacking – like a life!

    This is a great list, so true. Girl- you make me laugh. Keep up the good work and entertaining blog. xoxo-K

  7. Lisa Davis says:

    I think this blob has the makings of a literary award…this is amazing work! I love your insight and look forward to reading more….ahhh, I knew her when…: )

  8. Lisa Davis says:

    OMG…I just realized what I wrote…blob, instead of blog!!!!!

  9. Hahahaha Lisa, was that a Freudian slip?! I’m more of a pear than a blob. 😉

    I kid!

    Thank you all for the sweet, heartfelt comments. I really have the best friends any girl could ask for!

  10. IntrigueMe says:

    Okay, it’s going to take me a decade but I just started at the beginning of your blog and am working my way through your journey. I just want to say AMEN to this post- you remind me so much of myself (does everyone say that?) and what people have always said about me. That I’m not the “sloppy” fat girl. I have style, personality, and on some level self-respect. I can’t stand those sloppy piggish sorts that give the rest of us a bad name. Have some pride! That was cruel, but, well, true.

  11. […] I mentioned one of my favorite (and possibly most interesting to hear the feedback on) was Myths and Truths of Fatness. I revisited the entry and thought about the myths and truths of losing 125 pounds (my last […]

  12. […] have blogged about this twice before in different forms (here and here if you’re curious) – but recently I have been mulling over these and decided in […]

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