Since I started this blog, something I didn’t anticipate has happened. Not only did I “come clean” with the world about my weight-situation…but I opened up lines of communication I didn’t know were missing from my life. I’ve always considered myself a very open, honest person. I tell it like it is (usually) and if asked, I would detail my struggles with weight loss to almost anyone. The thing about having a food addiction is it’s written all over your face (or your ass depending how you look at it). It’s not like an alcohol addiction or a gambling addiction where I could be appear to be a perfectly functioning member of society. Nope, you take one look at me and you realize I have a problem. That is a blessing and a curse.
Now that I have begun to fix said problem, and discuss it in a public forum – I’m amazed by the true honesty that was missing from my life before. This weekend I attended two wonderful bellydance shows (Tribal Pura and MassRaqs) and got to see amazing performances, and friends whom I don’t see nearly enough. In both cases, I had more than one person tell me how much they love reading my blog. I always get warm fuzzies when someone tells me that. Knowing that this rambling of mine is well-received makes my day! Additionally, I had two friends tell me my face looked thinner, and one friend notice the waist-band of my pants was bigger (which I had subconsciously become aware of – and these jeans didn’t fit AT ALL in January!). It’s an amazing feeling to be surrounded by people who uplift you – and feeling like they are sharing your personal struggle can’t be beat. Somehow, this blog has transcended my expectations ~ I’m doing more than just (trying to) lose weight and talking about it. I’m peeling back the layers of armor I’ve built up for years, and exposing myself to people. It’s wonderful, and hella scary at the same time.
Back on January 1st when I weighed in at 424, I thought I was hopeless. I thought I couldn’t ever fix this mess, and I was destined to be a failure. I’m so happy I was wrong. In 9 months (with 6 months of half-assing it) I’m down 61 pounds! That’s insane. I am confident that the last 3 months of 2010 will be much better. I’m on the right track nutritionally, and getting into the workout groove. Oh sure, there will be setbacks (that’s part of life) but for the first time in a LONG time I feel like I know what I want….and I can *have* it! Crazy eh?
This blog has been one of the scariest, and most wonderful ventures I’ve taken on. I’m so glad you’re all sharing this journey with me, and keeping me honest! Thank you, from the bottom of my sparkly heart for the support!