Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

Stupid People and “Such a Pretty Face”!

on October 6, 2010

Weekend was split. Saturday was amazing, Sunday was terrible. I did get some great workouts in, which makes me happy. However, on Friday I had my first nasty “anonymous” blog comment. It was from someone I don’t actually know – but we have mutual friends. Rather than taking what he said with a grain of salt, I let it bug the heck out of me until this morning. I complained to work friends, I questioned whether or not I should be putting my life out there for the world to critique and I thought of 52 comebacks for the offending ‘db’ (you can pretend like that stands for database….but you know what it really means!). 🙂

Yesterday morning I finally accepted that not everyone is going to love me, or my writing. Not everyone is going to enjoy reading this – and that’s fine. As I said in a previous post; if you don’t want to hear my weight-loss babble then drive on.  So, I’m acknowledging the comment here, but I’m decidedly not responding directly to the ‘db’ (though I did think of some priceless comebacks!). Stupid people are just not worth my time.

I’ve been slacking on my exercise, I need to kick my own ass into high gear, I have a weigh-in on Friday!

For years I have been told (like a lot of cute, fat girls) that I have “such a pretty face”. While the sentiment is nice…there is so much more that comes along with this statement. There’s also a book that took the comment and changed it to “Such a Pretty Fat”. The book is “meh”, but more on that another time. I never believed I was pretty until I was 24 or so, up until then I thought it was just one of those things people say. I think learning to love yourself goes a long way to accepting compliments. When you don’t feel good on the inside, it’s hard to love what’s on the outside.

When someone says you have a pretty face- they can mean a few things. Either they are honestly giving you a compliment, they are implying the rest of you ISN’T pretty or they are going to follow it up with: “but you’d be even prettier if you lost all the weight!”. No one wants to be reminded of their shortcomings. So, the phrase is a tricky one, in my book.

However, sometimes the Universe puts you someplace so you can learn a lesson. This morning I was on a work call at home, and didn’t leave @ my normal time. I ended up catching the beginning of the Rachel Ra y show and on it was a girl who’s face had been destroyed by a gunshot. She had no face, but doctors had made prosthetic eyes/nose and she actually looked very pretty. I felt so awful for bitching about my “pretty face / fat ass” when this poor girl didn’t even have a face period! So, next time someone tells me “You have a such a pretty face!” – I won’t assume they are thinking “and such a fat ass!” – I will smile, accept the compliment and think about Chrissy Steltz.

Anyways, I’ve been avoiding posting many pictures (past the one I love on the home page) so I figured now is as good a time as any! Here I am, with captions. Note: when you have a “pretty face” you rarely let full body pics be taken! 🙂

1995 - 8th grade I was 250 pounds or so. I thought I was insanely ugly.

2006 - I was 330 at this point ~ I still have those jeans (tight back then)...I'm digging them out in a few months to see if they fit better! 🙂

My Belly BFF Rachel and I - NYE 2007... I love this turtleneck and last winter it didn't fit. I need to find it and see if it fits this winter! 🙂

My BFF Julie and my pal Jason @ my "Farewell Boston Bash". I was over 400 pounds at this point...and I think I have 12 chins. I was sooo unhappy, and eating my way to feeling "normal" again. I don't miss this time in my life!

BFF and I again in NYC. Should I go back to blonde hair?? 🙂

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7 responses to “Stupid People and “Such a Pretty Face”!

  1. Curt says:

    You look like such a little kid in the last picture… 😉

    I get a lot of “You hide it well” which I’m never sure how to take…

  2. Memie says:

    Hooray for you for standing up for what you believe in. I admire you more and more each day. Hugs

  3. Amy Smith says:

    I’ve gotten the “pretty face” comment, too. I wish I’d had the guts to come back with “Gee, you *look* intelligent…”

    And you *are* beautiful! Period, exclamation point. No ifs, ands, or buts!!!

  4. Jim Baab says:

    You’ve got photos up… time to think about new ones…

  5. Nepenthe says:

    There are a lot of parallels here to another thing I’ve heard – and that’s that dancers don’t want to hear “what a beautiful costume”. Yes, apparently some dancers think that if you are complimenting them on their costume, you must not have been impressed by their dancing.

    You’re right – when we get a compliment, we can’t fill in the blanks with the negatives that are implied by silence. It ruins what may have been a well-intentioned compliment.

    Anonymous blog comments – I figure if the person isn’t brave enough to identify themselves, then their opinion isn’t worth anything to me.

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