Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

Letters From a Fat Chick @ The Gym

on October 11, 2010

(my fantastic Monday post is delayed….I promise, it’s coming!)
I was just thinking about funny things I see at the gym and decided to craft some fake letters. I hope you enjoy – and please, share yours!

Dear Beer Bellied Baseball Lover,
While I do appreciate your Red Sox attire at the gym…I wish you would realize that just doing hundreds of crunches on every ab machine in creation will not make your beer gut disappear. See that treadmill? It’s your friend – go check it out! Oh, btw – have any idea how many calories is in that disgusting protein shake you’re chugging? Yeah I didn’t think you did….
Love,
The Fat Chick Doing Circuits

Dear Miss Full Makeup in the Gym,
You look absolutely ridiculous. Go wash your face. You’re here to sweat, not to pick up men sweetheart. Save your gym membership money and join match.com.
Love,
The Fat Chick with NO Makeup Sweating Her Ass Off

Dear High School Girl w/ Chip on Her Shoulder,
Yes, I did just leg press your entire body weight (thanks for making it so obvious you were looking!). I might be fat, but I have strong muscles under said fat. Oh, and I really want to slap that stupid look off your face.
Love,
The Fat Chick Smirking At You

Dear Old Man w/ the Grouchy Face,
That bicep curl machine isn’t going to work itself, friend. Either use it, or get the hell off. The library is down the street – they have nice couches for sitting.
Love,
The Fat Chick Giving You the Evil Eye

Dear Peacock,
I’m thrilled that you’re strutting and admiring your biceps for the 43rd time, but honestly – get over it. You’re not good-looking, you have creepy eyes and no one is impressed by the 3 curls you’ve done in 20 mins. Go home.
Love,
The Fat Chick Who Is Sick of Seeing Your Reflection!

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2 responses to “Letters From a Fat Chick @ The Gym

  1. The full makeup chick reminds me of someone I saw back when I had a membership to HealthWorks in the Back Bay. She got dressed for a workout, checked her ass out in the mirror, then stripped off her shorts and put on different underwear, checked her ass out in the mirror again, then went to work out. Hello? Women’s gym? What kind of lipstick lesbian was she trying to pick up that was that bothered by panty lines?

  2. Melodie Pharms says:

    I just saw this and thanks for reminding me why I workout at home now.
    I used to go to Ballys in revere and I had all kinds of guys hitting on me
    while I was on the treadmill with my headphones on! And the of course
    the women that would put make-up on and heavy perfume walk around the
    weight room looking for guys. Geez!

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