You’ve heard the old adage “You are what you eat” right? Well, I’ve been pondering the idea of “You are whatever you say you are” lately. I’ve been reading through my old journals, and pouring over bellydance blogs like Belly Paladin (written by one of my favorite dancers, Asharah). In my old journal I have a lot of negative speak. In the past I constantly berate myself and my abilities. Why couldn’t I be more like so and so? Why wasn’t I as smart as blah blah?
Reading Asharah’s blog last night, I came across a post that has resonated with me in both dance and my life. She says:
“Art changes because we, the artists, change. My dance changes as I change. I am living a life in which I am much more true to myself, therefore, I believe my dancing has become less artificial-looking. I am no longer feeling artificial. I feel organic, alive, passionate, and real. Life is too short to feel stuck in your art… and it’s too short to expect others to be stuck in their art as well.”
Life is too short to tell myself I’m not good enough. Life is WAY too short to second guess my place in the lives of my family, my friends or my work. So, I’m letting go of all my negative self-talk right now.
I’m changing. Physically I am getting smaller and stronger. Mentally I am more prepared, more aware of my surroundings. Emotionally…well I’m a work in progress. Haha. These changes are amazing, and scary…but in my newly forming life I just won’t have room for negativity. I can’t let myself doubt my worth anymore.
From here on out, I am going to tell myself how fabulous and kick-ass I am every day! I’m going to perform pieces that are in my heart and my head….and I’m not going to compare myself to other dancers (or other women – period!). I am whoever I say I am. In which case, I say that I am a strong, fabulous, hella sparkly woman who loves herself as is. 🙂
Typing all that out makes me feel lighter. Like this invisible burden has just been lifted off my shoulders. I’m shedding pounds, and pieces of my old self at the same time.