Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

My Outsides Don’t Match My Insides….

on November 22, 2010

Weekend was pretty fabulous. I went to see The Bellydance Superstars: Bombay Bellywood with my mom – and saw a TON of friends/dance family at the show. I also got 2 great workouts in – one was purely abs, and trust me…it hurts to cough, or laugh, or sneeze today. LOL! It’s so nice to FEEL the fruits of your hard labor – it reminds you NOT to have that cookie, or go out for lunch when you brought something healthy with you etc. Sore muscles are a reminder of how much hard work you’ve invested in yourself.

I am having an internal battle of sorts – and I thought it might be a good one to share, because I doubt I am alone. Despite my best efforts to change my internal wiring…I cannot stop comparing myself to other women when I’m in a room with them. This weekend I went to a workshop with the lovely Kami Liddle – and I found myself amongst a mix of friends and strangers….surrounded by mirrors. Soon I’m noticing how I am literally twice as big as the girl next to me – or that my hips are so wide I can’t even SEE the woman behind me. GAH!  It’s a slippery slope. I held my own through the warm-up which was intense (my abs still hurt) – but I was disappointed that I was just unable to do some of the stretches, like this one:

I wasn’t just unhappy because everyone around me could easily bend themselves like a pretzel….I was upset because I FEEL so amazing, so strong – and yet I’m still so fat and inflexible. 😦 I know this takes time, I didn’t put weight on overnight, so I’m not going to take it off overnight blah blah. But man, I’m frustrated.  I wish my outsides were matching my insides!

The good things I took away from the workshop were an awesome ab workout I can replicate at home, and some excellent stretches to loosen my spine (since I sit at a desk all day, I have no doubt my spine is just compressing as the minutes tick by, LOL).

The bad is of course my inability to stop judging myself. I’m not sure it will ever be easy to be in front of a full length mirror and NOT nitpick myself, but I am hopeful that I can work on this and get better. At a minimum, my ass will be smaller the more I work out – and therefore harder to pick on! 😉






3 responses to “My Outsides Don’t Match My Insides….

  1. Hon, I can’t do that stretch either. I think I’d need to dislocate my hip to pull that off.

  2. Cecilia says:

    I just started dedicating part of my blog to my weight loss journey! I’m feeling the same exact way that you’re feeling today 😦

    But, inside and out, you’re definitely inspiring me!

    p.s. those stretches are ridic!!! I can’t do anything that puts too much weight on my knees.

  3. sara says:

    great post samantha.
    this yoga pose is very advanced and also personal anatomy and mechanics have a lot to do with it. Hopefully there were modifications presented, as there are plenty to get this stretch without doing the full position. Lots of warming up need to happen prior to this pose.
    one of my teachers once said, “don’t get caught up in the mirror’s opinion of you” so same applies to your “mirrors”
    love you.

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