Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

My Unhealthy Relationship….with Food.

on January 11, 2011

I’ve always heard that the stories you tell about your past will predict your future. I don’t think that’s entirely true. I was thinking about my past history with food last night, while tossing and turning. Why was our relationship so unhealthy? (me and food). Why did I turn to food for comfort, entertainment etc? I’m not sure. I still cannot pin-point the moment when food trumped the life I had. I have a great family, I’ve always had friends and I was good student….I don’t know how food got it’s hold on me at such a young age – and why I couldn’t shake it.

Two stories come to my mind that are mortifying in hindsight, but say a lot about the person I was. I think it’s important to remind yourself where you’ve been, it helps you focus on where you want to be. In my case it also reminds me that when I have kids, I will do my damnedest not to let food rule their lives.

I was 7 or 8 and playing a friend’s house after school. Said friend was super athletic, and a dancer. Her mom offered us two snacks – carrots and dressing or a Twix bar. Guess which I chose? Sigh. Now, to be fair I still hate carrots unless they’re cooked and cut into tiny pieces and hidden in something like rice. But, what 8-year-old chooses candy over carrots?! This guy….(points).

The second story was when I was 14. My first “real job” (that wasn’t babysitting or the library) was at a grocery store as a cashier. I was working the after school shift and during my dinner break I went outside to eat. Did I buy something sensible for dinner? Nope. I bought a bag of candy. As I walked outside – there was my mom. She is a fabulous cook and had brought me a Tupperware container with dinner that she just heated up. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she saw the candy. I wasn’t a child. I knew better. I had clearly chosen junk over something good for me.  :-\

I don’t dwell on times when I was picked on at school or in the “real world” because frankly – that’s just not healthy. When I hear someone say they remember every insult they receive, I chuckle in my head. If I remembered every bad thing someone had said to me, I’d have a book the size of Rhode Island. Life’s too short to dwell on the past. Let it go!

I read a great quote earlier this week: “What other people think of you is none of your business…”

So true!

However, why am I  hanging on to all the times I was disappointed in myself or someone I loved by choosing food?! It seems silly.

I’ve made mistakes. You don’t get to be 424 pounds without having a slew of food blunders in your past. But, on the flip-side – you don’t lose 90 pounds in a year by making the same mistakes. I’ve changed, I’ve grown as a person. I don’t chose candy over chicken and rice. I don’t know the last time I’ve eaten a Twix bar…but it’s been at least 5 years.

I think in order to have the successful year I hope to have, I need to make peace with my past. I have made terrible food choices in the past. I’ve eaten things that were absolutely awful for me….and I have the ass to prove it. But, 2011 is a new year, with new opportunities to succeed. I’m not aiming for perfection – but I am shooting high.

“Food” might not like my new attitude, but I don’t really care.  Food isn’t the boss of me, at least not anymore! 🙂

I’m leaving you with something funny. Who can resist a ninja cupcake?!

 

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6 responses to “My Unhealthy Relationship….with Food.

  1. M says:

    I don’t know about you, but for me a lot of the issues came from my environment. My mother’s relationship with food was and still is horrible and while she tried to get me to eat right, I still saw how she was and likely subconsciously mimicked that. Fast forward 30 years and here we are – I had the same habits she does. Only now am I able to really see the vicious cycle and be able to break it but I still have my moments of weakness for sure and am still not very disciplined when it comes to saying no. There was also no exercise growing up as my parents never did so that was something I had to learn for myself as well. So I think its a big win to make the life change and really love yourself enough to exercise and eat right – its a big deal and you should be proud!

  2. Curt says:

    Last night I chose another taco instead of ice cream, but then like a weakling I had ice cream too… Fortunately not a lot though.
    http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/101026.html

  3. Kelly says:

    I’ve been running a lot over the past 2 years, more than ever in my life. I signed up for the LA marathon and now have to do it, there’s no getting out of it. This quote has helped me with running goals but holds true for any goal that may feel out of reach…remember anything is possible…

    “Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired”

  4. Tiana says:

    Personally I think you’re a little too hard on yourself. I don’t know many 7 year olds who given the choice would choose raw carrots over a Twix. And at 14… You’re more mature than 7, but you’re still just 14 🙂

    Even as adults when we better understand about making healthy choices, food is still an experience (see it, smell it, taste it, chew it…), and it’s necessary (we eat 3 – 5X/day) so I think naturally we lean toward choosing what tastes good over what might be good for us. It’s really not easy to make healthy choices without feeling like you’re depriving yourself. I like the show “Cook Yourself Thin” because they replicate favorite recipes with healthy ingredients, and cut the calories drastically, supposedly without sacrificing flavor.

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