Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

Breaking Through Barriers

on February 28, 2011

I mentioned last week that it was a tough emotional weekend, and last night I had a true breakthrough. I had been whining all weekend about how I needed to exercise but then not doing it. I had 500 excuses why I couldn’t. (Wah, wah, wah, I know…). Finally, my brother said “Sam, get your shoes and your water- we’re going to work out. NOW.”

FINE. Fine fine fine.

We get to the gym and I was still in my funk. I don’t want to hold myself back from being the person I know I’m capable of being…but I just wasn’t not sure how to get there. I always considered myself a happy, bubbly person but the last few week I was doubting my ability – doubting if I could ever change. I’m in my head too much, and it’s causing me to want to shut down.

Sidenote: It snowed yesterday morning and they canceled Fat Club. I think I might have felt better if I could have weighed in, but such is life. I’ll weigh in next week and it will be a HUGE number to account for the missed weigh-in!

So, he’s doing his workout – I’m doing some of mine. But, I’m half-assing it. I could have bumped up my weights on the biceps, I could have done more reps on the row. But, I didn’t. I just wasn’t giving it 100%.

I started pedaling on the recumbent (my old enemy) and usually I want to get off after 2 mins. I give up because it’s hard. It’s working my legs in a way I’m not used to…and it hurts! When something hurts, I usually let myself give in and stop doing it.

While pedaling I realized that was a metaphor for my life. It gets too hard to diet? I give up. It gets too hard to exercise? I give up. I never push myself hard enough! While pedaling I was sweating and whining and sweating. Gah! This is SO HARD. I HATE the bike! Boom – I cry. Now, I’m an emotional person in general…but this was a different kind of crying. It was a release. I let myself get out the pent-up frustration. I accepted that this isn’t always going to be easy – but it will be worth it in the end.

By the time we finished I was pedaling at an average of 90 RPMS! 90! Who is this girl?!?!Β  When I used to see my trainer I was always at 60/65 – NEVER higher. This was a victory. I was covered in sweat!

I feel like I mentally broke down the barriers I had in place to safeguard myself from getting hurt. I karate-chopped them right down so I can walk over the rubble and move on.

I was this little penguin:

Cute huh? πŸ˜‰

I went to bed feeling 100% better and today I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose. The road isn’t going to be lined with sparkles, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the journey and the sweat I put in to reach my goal.

I might not ever LOVE cardio, but if I can attain the high I felt after getting out of the gym yesterday more often, I think it will benefit me mentally. πŸ™‚

Kudos to my bro for kicking my butt into going. I would have been sulking on the couch otherwise!

Oh and my next fitness challenge? I’m buying boxing gloves! Once I have them I plan on hitting the heck out of the heavy bag at the gym. Sounds like a good release of pent up tension! I want these ones specifically because I love hot pink:

Do you guys use exercise to get our your aggression? Have you felt like the connection between what you’re feeling and what you’re expending is almost tangible? Share it with me!

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10 responses to “Breaking Through Barriers

  1. Cecilia says:

    Yes! I’ve always enjoyed cardio kickboxing…even though I felt like I was getting my butt kicked! I love doing the Turbo jam workouts for that reason…it’s kickboxing, but also a dance party! I really use it to get any of that aggression out, and mentally imagine myself beating up my bad thoughts πŸ™‚
    There’s something to that whole “imagine it’s the head of someone you don’t like.” While it seems really mean, I think it’s better than actually picking a fight…and then you can redirect those feelings towards what’s really actually blocking you πŸ™‚ Oh ya, I also therapize myself while I work out πŸ™‚

  2. Sharon says:

    My favorite cardio is Step Aerobics mostly because I like choreography and like feeling taller, even if its for a few seconds, during my workouts. Concentrating on choreography really forces me to forget my stresses of the day and at the end of it, I can’t believe I’m done! Not a fan of cardio-boxing or kick-boxing but not sure why. I don’t get a thrill from punching stuff. Now THROWING stuff, like stuff that breaks, that would be a fun class. Is there a cardio class for throwing stuff to break more stuff? Hmmm.

  3. Cecilia says:

    Turbo Jam is one a set of workout DVD’s, basically. Would you like me to make copies for you? πŸ™‚ I’m all about the free stuff…

  4. Beth says:

    I used to do kickboxing to get my aggression out. I’ve also had that feeling with BodyPump (a cardio weight class) and BodyCombat (a Les Mills version of kickboxing). Now I do Zumba because it’s hard to be mad and dance at the same time. πŸ˜‰

    There was one time where I had a particularly hard day and I went to my group fitness class (it was a Biggest Loser express class) and we were doing rope work (like you see on Biggest Loser – monster ropes that they whip up and down or side to side) I was taking all my agression out on them, and ended up dragging my trainer AND the 75 kg kettle bell around the gym. πŸ™‚

  5. Such a wonderful read!!! I remember those times myself that it seemed too hard, but you’re right that once you get going on it, that feeling is amazing. And yes, some days will be harder than others but you’ll be amazed as this goes on how many days are actually easy. There will be a shift where it’s more easy than more hard. I know it’s corny, but trust me… you’re so on you’re way as you’re doing what you need to do. Great job, and thanks for giving me such a great read on a day I really needed it!

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