Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

I Am Whatever I Say I Am

on March 15, 2011

I’ve been on an Eminem kick lately. Love him or hate him, you can’t deny that he always says exactly what he’s thinking and even if you don’t agree you have to respect his gusto. The song I’ve been replaying in my head most is “The Way I Am“.

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am

He’s rapping to the media, but the song got me thinking about how I talk to myself. Am I fostering an environment for success within myself? Nope. I’m outwardly bubbly and positive…but on the inside I’m always doubting myself.

“Can I REALLY do that? Can I really reach my goal weight?? I mean, doesn’t everyone just think I’m always going to be fat? What if I get there (wherever I’m going) and I’m the biggest person in the room or I don’t fit in? I can’t go….I should just cancel”.

Sometimes I am consumed by what other people MIGHT think about me. I was lamenting about this to Rachel and she confided in me that a mutual friend was surprised to hear I consider myself a “fat chick” – because I always look so pretty and put together. That’s sweet, and surprising…but it’s hard to convince yourself to take it as the gospel.

So, this whole “I am whatever I say I am” has got me thinking….can I trick myself into overcoming my self-doubt?

If I wake up every day and say “Today you’re going to be stronger than yesterday” will it work? Or “You look pretty!” (even when I don’t think I do). I’m going to give it a shot and see if I can convince myself that I am whatever I say I am.

This weekend I was fortunate enough to buy a necklace made by my good friend Ela Rogers. I was drawn to the piece immediately because it had 2 chunks of pyrite on either side of a funky coin. (Side-note: as a child, I was a total nerd. I collected rocks and gems. My piece of pyrite was a favorite! Yes, I still have the collection. No, I’m not embarrassed…too much! ;))

When I got home and read the birth certificate for the necklace it said it would help ward off negativity! Um, perfect?! Sometimes I think you’re drawn to the things you need in life, subconsciously. I needed a reminder to stop being so hard on myself, and find the silver lining in each situation. I wore the necklace today and decided to snap a picture (thanks to Charlotte for being my photog!). Now of course, I wasn’t happy with my face in the photo (I look puffy!) but I’m going to embrace my new mantra and post it!


10 responses to “I Am Whatever I Say I Am

  1. Denise says:

    Its so true, we beat ourselves up!! Last night, after a long day, I sat in front of the TV. watching some silly show, contemplating whether to get those M&M’s and salty chips my son brought into the house, although he is also trying to lose weight.,I was consumed more with thinking about the candy, and fighting with my self, how they would taste good, but for only a moment, then I will wake up with a sugar/salt hangover, feeling horrible. Well, I lost the battle. and now decided, …. I am going to the gym, and looking for a good HYPNOTIST… I think its spelled wrong. Oh well.,,. Good Luck with the positive stone. its beautiful….

  2. Badriya says:

    Love the photo! You are lovely 🙂

    (I collected rocks too and still have a bunch of them !)

  3. Cecilia says:

    There is definitely something about starting off the day with positive thoughts. I’ve done a lot of waking up, and just laying in bed thinking, “Ugh…I have absolutely no purpose to my life right now…” But, the mornings when I’ve woken up and imagined the possibilities of my day have made me feel more productive 🙂
    Maybe make a poster to hang in your bedroom? Have some positive words on it, and make sure it’s one of the first things you see in the morning 🙂

  4. Nadira Jamal says:

    “a mutual friend was surprised to hear I consider myself a “fat chick” – because I always look so pretty and put together.”

    Wow, what a back-handed compliment. As if a fat person can’t be pretty and put together.

    I think Kate Harding said it best:

    “Now, about the fat thing, specifically… I’ve been meaning to sit down and write a post about the phrase “You’re not fat.” I hate it, even though I know the way you just said it was meant with nothing but love. The problem is, I’ve been hearing it all my life–at times it was a statement of fact, but more often than not, the question of my fatness was open to interpretation, and the meaning behind it was, “You’re not ten other things I associate with fat.” Coming from skinny people, it usually means, “You’re not unattractive, lazy, stupid, smelly, unhealthy, disgusting, etc.””

    Also, that necklace, ahem, rocks. And the iron pyrite was my favorite sample in the little box of rocks & minerals I got at the Museum of Natural History in NYC when I was 7. 🙂

  5. Sometimes we can’t help what we think but we can help how we allow those thoughts to move us in life. It sounds like you’ve got a wonderful handle on things, not to mention a great support system in your friends. Remind yourself of that when needed. I’ve told myself numerous times, so what if I’m fat. There are much worse things in life to be and if being fat is the least of my worries, I’m doing good. Then, as you lose the weight, you’ll realize you’re not fat, your beautiful and world needs to stand back and take notice!

  6. Mama E says:

    *Samantha, this photo of you is gorgeous; that green really compliments you; and your new necklace is perfect for you, for how it looks on you and for what it is representing. You are right, it has come into your life when you needed it; so help it do its work. Push out that negativity, and just BE and enjoy each day. Love, love, love ya!

  7. […] believe how mean I used to be to myself (while getting upset that society was mean to me!). I am what I say I am, and I’m glad I figured that out now so I can work on […]

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