Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

First Impressions and First World Problems

on September 22, 2011

Morning All!

I miss blogging. It’s been a whirlwind few weeks, and it’s not stopping anytime soon! Next week I am heading to Chicago then LA then NY! 3 trips in 17 days. Haha.

New job is amazing. I really love it. I feel productive and useful every day. I love my co-workers (one of whom was a good friend before we both moved to this group anyways). I love my new clients. Of course, there’s a but coming, right? Here we go. BUT I cannot stop worrying about the first impression I make on new people. Do they see me and think “OMG she is huge! Dear god!”. Ugh. I’ve become almost obsessed with worrying about people think of me. It’s insane! I have a “pretty face”, I dress nice…I don’t know why I am so hung up on my weight. But I am! I am about to head on the road and meet sales guys and VPs and engineers at a bunch of my sites, I can’t stop thinking about how they might perceive me. Will I lose professional credibility for being fat?

How do I make a good first impression when I’m unsure of myself? Oy.

Speaking of weight……..I’ve gained. I’m back into the 300’s. Oy. I swore this wouldn’t happen, then I let it. And I know EXACTLY where I went off the rails. I stopped tracking. I started eyeballing instead of measuring. I stopped being super strict. I fell into my old habits….and back into the 300’s. 😦

I feel so guilty/selfish when I think about my “problems” are I eat too much good food and can’t lose weight. It seems horribly insensitive considering what the rest of the world is battling, ya know? One of my friends calls this “first world problems”, which seems very fitting.

I am lucky to live where I live and have what I have with the freedoms I sometimes take for granted. I wouldn’t change my life for anything, I just wish I could improve it!

So, it’s back to tracking and being accountable. Back to giving this 100% and not half-assing it!




4 responses to “First Impressions and First World Problems

  1. JessSutera says:

    Aw friend, I’m sending you a HUG right now! Even if you’ve gained a bit, you are STILL very much aware of your progress and are very focused on your goals which is huge. So many people have the hardest time being self-aware and focusing in on what will work for them. For you – you KNOW what you need to do, you KNOW how to get back on track so just keep your focus and we’re all here to support you! Plus, you have a killer workout coming up on Sunday to look forward to with meeeee. That has GOT to cheer you up, yeah?? 😉

  2. Micah says:

    I understand your insecurities. Especially since fat bias certainly does exist. People automatically assume overweight people are lazy and maybe even unintelligent. Neither of these things is the case for you, of course. But I understand it is a tough inner battle. Just dazzle them with your personality and your smarts. You will be fine.

    As for the gain, it happens to us all. And it sounds like you’ve had a hectic schedule — this can make it hard to maintain good habits. The important part is getting back on track. As long as you always do that, you will be fine.

  3. IntrigueMe says:

    Hey, it’s all good, just pick it back up. 😉

  4. I think it’s funny how you said you think of your weight, as I do the same thing, only a bit in reverse. I’ve maintained my weightloss now for 10 months. Anyone I’ve met in the past 10 months might have no idea that I used to weigh 345 pounds. Someone once saw a picture on my desk and thought it was my sister until they realized it was me. I always wonder what they might think if they’d known me then. I wonder if they’d be different back then compared to now. I think weight is just something that for many of us, is just there. We think of it and wonder how it affects the things around us.

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