I miss blogging. It’s been a whirlwind few weeks, and it’s not stopping anytime soon! Next week I am heading to Chicago then LA then NY! 3 trips in 17 days. Haha.
New job is amazing. I really love it. I feel productive and useful every day. I love my co-workers (one of whom was a good friend before we both moved to this group anyways). I love my new clients. Of course, there’s a but coming, right? Here we go. BUT I cannot stop worrying about the first impression I make on new people. Do they see me and think “OMG she is huge! Dear god!”. Ugh. I’ve become almost obsessed with worrying about people think of me. It’s insane! I have a “pretty face”, I dress nice…I don’t know why I am so hung up on my weight. But I am! I am about to head on the road and meet sales guys and VPs and engineers at a bunch of my sites, I can’t stop thinking about how they might perceive me. Will I lose professional credibility for being fat?
How do I make a good first impression when I’m unsure of myself? Oy.
Speaking of weight……..I’ve gained. I’m back into the 300’s. Oy. I swore this wouldn’t happen, then I let it. And I know EXACTLY where I went off the rails. I stopped tracking. I started eyeballing instead of measuring. I stopped being super strict. I fell into my old habits….and back into the 300’s. 😦
I feel so guilty/selfish when I think about my “problems” are I eat too much good food and can’t lose weight. It seems horribly insensitive considering what the rest of the world is battling, ya know? One of my friends calls this “first world problems”, which seems very fitting.
I am lucky to live where I live and have what I have with the freedoms I sometimes take for granted. I wouldn’t change my life for anything, I just wish I could improve it!
So, it’s back to tracking and being accountable. Back to giving this 100% and not half-assing it!