I’ve had a great week of staying on track and counting my food. Somehow being honest with myself about what I’m eating makes it easier to choose fuel instead of food. When you see in black and white where your calories are going, there’s no denying bad choices! 🙂
This morning I headed to Danvers’ barre n9ne with my friend Layne for an intensive workshop taught by the adorable Julianna (who virtually kicks my ass every Monday morning!). The workshop focused on 5 moves (glutes on the mat, legs at the barre, triceps, glutes at the barre and abs). 90 mins of PURE TORTURE. Seriously. I learned SO MUCH, I am SOOO sore and I had a freakin’ ball. The best part? The people in the class. No one was snarky. No one stared at me. It was refreshing. I got to a point with bellydance where I wouldn’t go to some workshops because of the cliques that would attend. Barre N9ne clientele definitely are a cut above the dance crowd. Now, I have a lot of dance friends who I still love, don’t get me wrong. It was just nice to go somewhere and focus on getting leaner and stronger without anyone whispering about me, or giving me the “OMG who invited heffalump?” look. Haha.
I spent the 90 minutes focusing on my breath and my movements. I was in the moment, I was strong and I was sweating my assssss off! 🙂
My attitude has changed in the last few weeks. I can feel the shift inside me. I am on the “up” professionally (new job = awesome) and because of that the rest of my goals feel attainable. I want to be thinner and stronger. I want to take as many barre n9ne classes as I can. I want the strong muscles I see on Tanya and Julianna and Jess and Jolene. I want to be in shape and in control of my body. I want to foster the friendships that add value to my life. I want to open myself to meeting someone who could be my soul mate. I feel like I have been closed off for so long. I have been focusing on all the things wrong with me instead of all the things that are right!
The other night on “Sons of Anarchy” I heard a quote that has stuck with me all week. “The older we get, the further away we get from who we think we are…”
It was spoken in a remorseful way, but for me it fits my life and my current situation to a tee. I am not who I thought I’d be at 29. I’m smarter. I’m more self-confident. Now I need my exterior to match my interior!
Sidenote: SOA is one of the best shows on TV, hands down. 🙂
So, who do you think you are? Are you working on it everyday? Did you think you’d be the person you are today? Are you happy to be where you are, or wishing you were somewhere else?