Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

Self-Reflection Sunday

on May 14, 2012

I can’t believe I went a week in between posts! I had been doing good about queuing up 3-4 things I could publish during the week. Sorry. πŸ™‚

Things you may have missed: I joined a walking club at work with some of my fabulous co-workers (Greg, Kate, Christine, Tyler, Steve, Pat, Jason and Sonia) – our team name is All Your Steps Are Belong To Us….#AYSABTU. Look for it trending all over Twitter. Haha. Also I had my half way mark weigh-in/measurements with Tanya this week. Guess what? In 30 days I am down 13 inches over – THIRTEEN!!! Eff yeah. I also lost 6 pounds. Honestly, I’m more excited about the inches. Pounds will come with time. Can’t wait to see how the end of challenge looks! I’m addicted. πŸ™‚

After my last post on losing focus and not living in the moment….I spent the weekend busy with work/plans and missed 3 – yes THREE barre n9ne workouts. Insert super sad face here. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Sunday night I got in a funk – and thought about Jess’s post on self-reflection. I decided to read through theΒ  manifesto and seriously consider where I used to be and where I want to be.

I’ll give you some of the answers I gave myself to the questions above….I’d love to hear yours if you’re so inclined to share!

Where are you living right now – the past, the present or the future? Oh it depends on the day, LOL. I’d say mostly the present…but I do harp a lot on the past (in my head) and I worry a lot about the future. Are the choices I make today setting me up for success in the future? I hope so!

Are you putting parts of your life on hold?Β  Yes. I didn’t even have to think about that one. I’m not dating – or putting myself out there. Part of me wants to and part of me just isn’t ready for rejection based on my size. I was telling a friend just last night all the active things I can’t do – hiking, biking, canoeing….he told me I was making excuses ~ but truthfully I’m just not in shape to do physical activities with my friends. I hope I will be able to do some this summer.I hate that I can’t live the life I want because of poor decisions I made in the past. I wish it was easy to lose weight and hard to gain – instead of the reverse!

What are the biggest things you’ve learned in life to date? One of my favorite quotes is β€œIn three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” That it does. With or without you….life goes on. I think as I turned 30 I realized there was no such thing as perfect and not everything in life was fair. I also hold firm to the belief that everything happens for a reason….even if you can’t see that reason at the time.

What would you do if you cannot fail, if there are absolutely no limitations in money, resources, time or networks? I love this question, because I think about it before I go to bed all the time. What would I do? First and foremost I would buy the company I work for – and clean house. Bring in people who make a difference- promote people who are already doing this and get the whole company aligned for awesomeness. That takes care of career. Onto family – I’d pay off all my debt and my loved ones debt (school loans, car loans, credit cards, mortgages) – BAM, fresh starts all around. Then I would travel. See every place in the world I’d ever wanted to go – with friends and family in tow. Paris with Mom and Christine D. (because she speaks French!), Italy girls trip with Jewels, Ash, Kate + company (good wine, good food, good friends), Australia (with my friend O who has been a few times), Spain, Morocco, Bora Bora, Brazil (with my brother), Drive cross country (with Layne!) and see every place and anyplace I could. I would truly become a world-traveler. I would meeting new people ~ explore cultures unlike my own and try things I’ve never tried. But, before I did that I would literally spend 6 months getting myself int0 the most amazing shape I can. Barre classes, Barre luxe sessions, Cardio sweat fests – I’d hire Tanya, Julianna, Jess and Jo as my personal army of trainers! (Ladies, you would be my dream team!).Β  Man I love dreaming about this!

Now, how can I do that within the restraints of my own budget/time/life? I can go to Paris with Mom – I just have to plan it. I can drive partway cross country at some point and I can try new things. Every day. Like today at Whole Foods when I bought Cojita Cheese and Mahi Mahi – just to try!

What is your ideal life? Career? Diet? Self? Look? Life Partner? What are you doing to achieve them? Life? Healthy, happy, successful and fulfilled. Career – honestly as cheesy as it sounds I feel like this vein of work I’m in now is my perfect career. I manage customers, I still have lots of human interaction but I’m still technical and I get to travel but not too much. Diet? One with less “treats” then have currently snuck into my diet! Back to healthy fruits, veggies, leans proteins and only the occasional treat. Look? My current cute face – with a super sexy, sleek bob (dying for this cut once I hit a milestone of 199), wearing funky yet stylish clothes and accessories purchased anywhere but the “plus size section”! (Side rant: why do we call it “Plus”? It’s not something better. Like “Juice PLUS Antioxidants”….I hate the word Plus). Life Partner? Ah, something else I fantasize about a lot. I don’t have a “look” – but I do have things I’m attracted to (light eyes, taller than me, smart as hell, witty, funny, conversational, good hugger) and I would like this person to be health-minded and career driven. I know where I’m going – you’re going to need to get with this if you want to stay! Now for the tough part- what am I doing to achieve those things? Focusing on me – eating my number, getting barre classes in and getting my steps in. Spending my time more wisely – choosing to see/talk to a friend rather than watch TV. Spending time with people I love more. As for what I’m doing to find my life partner…..honestly? Nothing. I need to work on that – when I’m ready. πŸ™‚

I loved this activity. Next Sunday I might need to chose different questions and see where I’m at.Read through it – I’d love to hear how you felt about certain questions. Oh and if you’re in the mood for a novel this summer that’s a light read, pick up “Coffee and Kung Fu” by Karen Brichoux. One of my favorite books of all times. I will leave you with my favorite quote, one that has stuck with me for nine years.

β€œThe moment isn’t a piece of time; it’s a question. The moment comes when you look up and see your life stretching out for seventy more years. And there, in front of you, like a giant roadblock, is the question: Is this life good enough for the next seventy years? But maybe that’s the easy question. The next logical question–Can I live like this?–is the killer. Because it isn’t a yes or no kind of question. It’s a do or die kind of question.”


5 responses to “Self-Reflection Sunday

  1. Jess Sutera says:

    Ohhh I love this so much! I love how deeply you dug into each of those questions you chose from the manifesto — talk about practicing self-reflection on overdrive, huh? I dig it — and I really dig where your head is taking you right now. It’s pushing you to strive for the dreams you envision, the path you want to take, the goals you are dying to accomplish. It’s that drive, that determination, that motivation that will take you EXACTLY where you’re meant to be. Believe it, girl.

    Ps I would loooove to be part of your b9 dream team!!!

    • I love how many questions I still could answer!! Thank you for turning me onto this! πŸ™‚

      Also, I would LOVE to have a b9 dream team. I might need to find a way to make it work on a budget! πŸ˜‰

  2. jobo says:

    First, I’d love to be your b9 dream team πŸ˜‰ And you pretty much have it anyway, with all the classes you do, and some of which are quite small, that’s ALMOST like a personal trainer, right?! And so much more personable than a gym hehe.
    Side note aside.
    This post makes me see such a ‘thinker’ side to you, and one that is so motivated, so determined and focused. I think you are smart to hold off on dating for the time being.Not only is it a huge time committment, it’s emotionally tiring and you need a thick skin to get through it. You DO have a thick skin, one of the thickest I’ve seen, but I think your priority right now is just what it should be! YOU. Your career. Your life. And when you are ready to date, you’ll know.
    I can’t wait to see that hair cut on you, it will look hot!!!

    • I would seriously love a dedicated b9 dream team. I’d have cardio sweat fests with you and Jess along with method, Fusion and b9 fusion with Julianna and TFFR and Cardio class (which I’m still working up to!) with Tanya! LOL.

      I agree on dating- for as tough as I am….I’m actually really sensitive. I’m not sure I could take rejection right now! Haha. So, I need you and M to find me a man. πŸ˜‰

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