Sparkly & Slimming….a Weight Loss Blog

Samantha's journey to slim down, while remaining sparkly!

Self-Reflection Sunday (moved to Monday….)

Happy Summer!

Hope everyone had a kickass long weekend. I certainly did. Grilling, sunshine, sleeping late, family time, friends and 5 barre classes in 4 days! BAM. 🙂

So I wanted to make “Self-Reflection Sunday” a feature here in the little piece of the interwebz…but it was a long weekend and this is the first time I’ve booted my laptop since Friday. I think I needed the break. I love my job, but sometimes it’s all-consuming. I’m on my Blackberry until midnight, I’m responding to emails until wee hours of the morning. I needed to disconnect and reclaim my life and my free time. I’m happy to say this weekend I did that!(Sidenote: my boss always yells at me for working as much as I do – this is self-imposed not work-imposed obsession, LOL).

I also took time to clean out my iPod, added more motivational songs for the gym and got rid of those songs that reminds me of people I don’t know anymore. It’s funny how places, smells, songs etc. have associations (more on my crazy food associations later). Then I sat here recapping my weekend in my had. Saturday I had a major meltdown concerning this body of mine. It sounds silly in hindsight, but I kept thinking about how great I’ve been doing with food ~ and how many things I’ve given up – why aren’t I a size 10 yet dammit!? Why don’t I have one body part that wants to cooperate with summer clothes?! (No capris, I have cankles – STILL, no sleeveless tops – bat wings, no dresses for a while until my stomach pooch flattens). Gah. I wish for every healthy meal you ate or kickass workout you endured one bad decision was erased from your past. Wouldn’t that be amazing?! Nerds friends, please work on this concept for me and see if you can invent a machine. I’ll be the beta tester. 🙂

Luckily I have a very rational and supportive support system (thanks this week to Mom, Derek and Stasia) I was talked off the ledge. Let’s be perfectly frank here –  I haven’t been kicking this much ass all along. I spent months half-assing it and making excuses. I can’t expect perfection overnight….I didn’t get fat overnight (though sometimes I swear to god it feels like it!). I don’t think I ever realized how big I was at my heaviest. It didn’t dawn on me that I was rotating out the same 6 outfits over and over. Now that I’m exploring the massive clothing collection I have I’m surprised to discover things I’ve never worn fit – score! Things from last year fit MUCH better this year – double score! I am making progress, it’s just not as fast as I want. I think some of it is my impatience and some of it is the “but I didn’t go to Bagel world and have a sesame toasted bagel with scallion cream cheese and a huge mocha iced coffee today – shouldn’t I have lost 5 pounds just for being awesome?” mentality. I feel better without that damn bagel, I know I do….I just wish I could have the bagel and the svelte body of my dreams!

Saturday I did a double with Jo – which killed for the record – and burned 1313 calories! I snapped a picture on my way out:

On Facebook my caption was “Goodbye 1313 calories, hello collar bones! Please, stay a while”. Looking at that picture I see progress. I see determination. I see strength. Sidenote: I need to take more full-length pictures for comparison later!

So, I’m over my hissy fit and moving forward. Dust yourself off and all that jazz. Time for some Sunday Self-Reflection questions!

What is the top priority in your life right now? 

It’s a tie – weight-loss/health and enjoying my life as much as possible. I’m trying to focus on little things that make my day (like seeing old fiends who “get me” or spending my calories wisely on a well-deserved treat). I’m having conversations about where I want to be with people (rather than keeping it to myself). I’m making lists of things to try (like a 5K or hiking or surfing) as I reach different milestones. I’m planning for a kickass future.
What are the biggest actions you can take now to create the biggest results in your life?

As much as it pains me to say it ~ just keep swimming. Oh and get some cardio in. LOL. I finally found my perfect exercise routine, perfect support system and perfect calorie allotment – now I just have to keep at it and trust myself. It’s nice to know I’m where I’m supposed to be, I just wish I had figured it out sooner! 🙂
How are you feeling today?

So glad I didn’t write this a few days ago…haha. Today I am awesome. I worked out, spent time with my Mom and Stasia, saw barre friends, spent some time alone and got ready for a lovely 3 day work-week before a weekend away. Yay! Ready for a little fun in the sun.

Quote of the week:

Cheers to a nice, short work week!


Self-Reflection Sunday

I can’t believe I went a week in between posts! I had been doing good about queuing up 3-4 things I could publish during the week. Sorry. 🙂

Things you may have missed: I joined a walking club at work with some of my fabulous co-workers (Greg, Kate, Christine, Tyler, Steve, Pat, Jason and Sonia) – our team name is All Your Steps Are Belong To Us….#AYSABTU. Look for it trending all over Twitter. Haha. Also I had my half way mark weigh-in/measurements with Tanya this week. Guess what? In 30 days I am down 13 inches over – THIRTEEN!!! Eff yeah. I also lost 6 pounds. Honestly, I’m more excited about the inches. Pounds will come with time. Can’t wait to see how the end of challenge looks! I’m addicted. 🙂

After my last post on losing focus and not living in the moment….I spent the weekend busy with work/plans and missed 3 – yes THREE barre n9ne workouts. Insert super sad face here. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Sunday night I got in a funk – and thought about Jess’s post on self-reflection. I decided to read through the  manifesto and seriously consider where I used to be and where I want to be.

I’ll give you some of the answers I gave myself to the questions above….I’d love to hear yours if you’re so inclined to share!

Where are you living right now – the past, the present or the future? Oh it depends on the day, LOL. I’d say mostly the present…but I do harp a lot on the past (in my head) and I worry a lot about the future. Are the choices I make today setting me up for success in the future? I hope so!

Are you putting parts of your life on hold?  Yes. I didn’t even have to think about that one. I’m not dating – or putting myself out there. Part of me wants to and part of me just isn’t ready for rejection based on my size. I was telling a friend just last night all the active things I can’t do – hiking, biking, canoeing….he told me I was making excuses ~ but truthfully I’m just not in shape to do physical activities with my friends. I hope I will be able to do some this summer.I hate that I can’t live the life I want because of poor decisions I made in the past. I wish it was easy to lose weight and hard to gain – instead of the reverse!

What are the biggest things you’ve learned in life to date? One of my favorite quotes is “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” That it does. With or without you….life goes on. I think as I turned 30 I realized there was no such thing as perfect and not everything in life was fair. I also hold firm to the belief that everything happens for a reason….even if you can’t see that reason at the time.

What would you do if you cannot fail, if there are absolutely no limitations in money, resources, time or networks? I love this question, because I think about it before I go to bed all the time. What would I do? First and foremost I would buy the company I work for – and clean house. Bring in people who make a difference- promote people who are already doing this and get the whole company aligned for awesomeness. That takes care of career. Onto family – I’d pay off all my debt and my loved ones debt (school loans, car loans, credit cards, mortgages) – BAM, fresh starts all around. Then I would travel. See every place in the world I’d ever wanted to go – with friends and family in tow. Paris with Mom and Christine D. (because she speaks French!), Italy girls trip with Jewels, Ash, Kate + company (good wine, good food, good friends), Australia (with my friend O who has been a few times), Spain, Morocco, Bora Bora, Brazil (with my brother), Drive cross country (with Layne!) and see every place and anyplace I could. I would truly become a world-traveler. I would meeting new people ~ explore cultures unlike my own and try things I’ve never tried. But, before I did that I would literally spend 6 months getting myself int0 the most amazing shape I can. Barre classes, Barre luxe sessions, Cardio sweat fests – I’d hire Tanya, Julianna, Jess and Jo as my personal army of trainers! (Ladies, you would be my dream team!).  Man I love dreaming about this!

Now, how can I do that within the restraints of my own budget/time/life? I can go to Paris with Mom – I just have to plan it. I can drive partway cross country at some point and I can try new things. Every day. Like today at Whole Foods when I bought Cojita Cheese and Mahi Mahi – just to try!

What is your ideal life? Career? Diet? Self? Look? Life Partner? What are you doing to achieve them? Life? Healthy, happy, successful and fulfilled. Career – honestly as cheesy as it sounds I feel like this vein of work I’m in now is my perfect career. I manage customers, I still have lots of human interaction but I’m still technical and I get to travel but not too much. Diet? One with less “treats” then have currently snuck into my diet! Back to healthy fruits, veggies, leans proteins and only the occasional treat. Look? My current cute face – with a super sexy, sleek bob (dying for this cut once I hit a milestone of 199), wearing funky yet stylish clothes and accessories purchased anywhere but the “plus size section”! (Side rant: why do we call it “Plus”? It’s not something better. Like “Juice PLUS Antioxidants”….I hate the word Plus). Life Partner? Ah, something else I fantasize about a lot. I don’t have a “look” – but I do have things I’m attracted to (light eyes, taller than me, smart as hell, witty, funny, conversational, good hugger) and I would like this person to be health-minded and career driven. I know where I’m going – you’re going to need to get with this if you want to stay! Now for the tough part- what am I doing to achieve those things? Focusing on me – eating my number, getting barre classes in and getting my steps in. Spending my time more wisely – choosing to see/talk to a friend rather than watch TV. Spending time with people I love more. As for what I’m doing to find my life partner…..honestly? Nothing. I need to work on that – when I’m ready. 🙂

I loved this activity. Next Sunday I might need to chose different questions and see where I’m at.Read through it – I’d love to hear how you felt about certain questions. Oh and if you’re in the mood for a novel this summer that’s a light read, pick up “Coffee and Kung Fu” by Karen Brichoux. One of my favorite books of all times. I will leave you with my favorite quote, one that has stuck with me for nine years.

The moment isn’t a piece of time; it’s a question. The moment comes when you look up and see your life stretching out for seventy more years. And there, in front of you, like a giant roadblock, is the question: Is this life good enough for the next seventy years? But maybe that’s the easy question. The next logical question–Can I live like this?–is the killer. Because it isn’t a yes or no kind of question. It’s a do or die kind of question.”


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